We see a desolate alien world, where Peter Quill, aka Starlord, is going inside an ancient temple. He uses a light globe to illuminate the interior, and then goes to steal an old alien orb.
Some alien cops come in with big guns to stop him. "Drop it now," orders their leader, Borath (Djimon Hounsou). And he asks Quill who he is. "Starlord," he replies. "Who?" Borath asks. "Starlord, man. Legendary outlaw." Starlord is wounded. "Forget it."
Then we see someone activate a wrist transceiver, and we're in an alien prison, where five creatures have been arrested on Zandar. We see holographic "rapsheets" for all five of them — Drax the Destoryer, Gamora (Zoe Saldana), a personal death machine, Rocket Raccoon, who has over 50 charges of vehicular theft and escape from lockup, Groot, a houseplant/muscle, and then Starlord himself.
Rhomann Dey (John C. Reilly) narrates the whole thing with intense snark, especially when he gets to the part about how Peter Quill calls himself Starlord. Listening to this, Quill cranks up his middle finger as if he's working a creaky machine. Later, Quill is in prison and Drax is listening to his personal stereo, which is playing a bouncy "gamba gamba" tune. Quill is offended — and then he gets tased.
And then we saw a montage of tons of action footage, including a two-headed alien shooting a gun, a prison riot, tons of Gamora putting the smackdown on people, Rocket Raccoon shooting a big gun with a vicious look on his face.
The footage ends with John C. Reilly saying, "They call themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy. What a bunch of A-holes." And we see the five of them lined up, like the Usual Suspects.
The Guardians of the Galaxy footage could be my favorite thing I've seen at Comic-Con this year. Guardians of the Galaxy footage just played, revealing the designs of all the characters, with plenty of laughs and action. Star-Lord gets arrested, disappointed they don't know his name. She's described as "Thanos' adopted daughter by Reilly." No word on the voice of Rocket, But he's feisty. He spits as his name gets read. Dave Bautista's Drax the Destroyer wear the body paint from the comics in what we saw while he's in prison. Groot, who is all CGI and has to lean down for his mug shot. Reilly calls him a "personal houseplant slash muscle." I AM GROOT! Then Star Lord, who very slowly does a jack-in-the-box flipping off Reilly. When he finishes, he mocks surprise. "Oh," he says ,"I'm sorry. I didn't know how that machine worked." As he's getting booked, he's very angry about a guard taking his headphones and listening to them. John C. Reilly: "They call themselves The Guardians of the Galaxy" Peter Serafinowicz: "What a bunch of A-holes."
UPDATE! Per Screen Rant:
The footage begins with a wide shot of dark, alien world, with greenish-blue aesthetic. There’s a large structure, with walls and it seems to be some sort of temple that a hooded figure enters. From the interior shot we see it’s Peter Quill with his reddish brown trench coat as depicted in the image above. He’s entered to seemingly steal some artifact and just as he does, three mysterious figures also enter the structure with rifles.
They’re lead by Korath and aim to arrest him by first asking Quill to identify himself. Chris Pratt’s Peter Quill says “Star-Lord” and Hounsou’s alien pursuer Korath looks confused and says “who?” The tone is very different from the get-go than any other Marvel Studios production to date and very funny.
We then see a shot of what may be Quill’s wrist, with some sort of device on his arm and we’re now in prison on what’s likely a space station. The majority of the video is to introduce fans to the characters since the Guardians of the Galaxycomic is very obscure and entirely unrecognizable to the mainstream theater-going demographic.
We see hologram readouts on the the film’s five main characters and there’s a voiceover by John C. Reilly’s Rhomann Dey, a Nova Corps prison guard, describing each:
-Drax the Destroyer – speaks for itself. He’s covered in red tattoos, and his skin appears to be flaking off in some parts. We didn’t see him with the armored-skin look or a vest like in the original concept art.
-Gamora – a deadly assassin. She’s a brighter green and her eyes are much lighter. She stares ahead with a snarky grin on her face, clearly fearless.
-Rocket Raccoon - has over 50 charges for theft and prison escapes. When it jumped from Gamora to Rocket on the line-up, it was very evident how short he is, but not as evident as his attitude when he spits on the ground.
-Groot – a plant. He’s so tall, he slowly leans to the right and gets his head in the frame.
-And “Star-Lord” who looks lost and comedically out of place.
We get another shot of Dey and we see he’s discussing this with another Nova Corps guard who asks “who calls him Star-Lord” and Dey says that’s just what he calls himself. The personality of each character is hilarious and comes through, even with there being no dialogue in the footage from anyone outside of Chris Pratt, Djimon Hounsou and the Nova guards.
Next we’re seeing Quill, handcuffed, being escorted through a part of the prison and he hears “Hooked On A Feeling” music playing in the background realizing it’s from his walkman. Some large alien is putting on the headphones and listening curiously and Quill repeatedly demands that he stop. For some reason, this reallyupsets him and he breaks off the line and begins charging the larger alien leading to a confrontation where guards put him down.
This moves into a sizzle reel of action bits, featuring physical moments and close-ups on the Guardians and a load of other varied aliens. The most notable highlights were Star-Lord’s mask – which is the same from the early artwork, him dual-wielding pistols, Gamora kicking ass, a cool looking spaceship leaving the atmosphere of some planet (possibly Xandar), and an angry Rocket Raccoon firing his gun while possibly riding on Groot’s shoulder.
We also get another shot of Quill on the line-up or in a cell as Rhomann Dey and the other guard talk and he’s slowly pretending to crank his hand and give them the middle finger as he apologizes and says he doesn’t know how that machine works. We see Dey explain to the other Nova guard that the five call themselves the “Guardians of the Galaxy” to which the other guard says “what a bunch of a-holes.”
ANOTHER UPDATE! Per Slash Film:
We first see Star-Lord holding a glowing orb of light in a mystical-looking hallway, whereupon a group of warriors, including Korath, confront him with their weapons. It’s at that point that Star-Lord’s unique personality begins to show itself.
“Cool man, no problem,” he says defensively. He introduces himself as “Star-Lord,” to which Korath replies, “Who?” Star-Lord’s response: “Star-Lord? Legendary outlaw?… Forget it.”
We then see Rhomann Dey (Reilly) rattling off information about the team, who’ve just been captured, to a colleague, played by Peter Serafinowicz. Appearing, in order, are Drax, Gamora, Rocket Raccoon, and Groot (“described as houseplant / muscle”). Last but not least is Peter Quill, who takes the opportunity to sass Dey and flip him off. Upon being informed that Quill also goes by Star-Lord, Dey asks, “Who calls him that?” “Himself, mostly” is the response he gets.
A montage of the Guardians in action ensues, including CG shots of Rocket Raccoon and Groot getting badass. At the end, Serafinowicz sums up the group: “They call themselves the Guardians,” he says. “What a bunch of assholes,” Dey responds.